2007: My Greatest Year Ever

More than a week into 2007, I'm a bit late in posting this, but please forgive me. I actually set my top goals for 2007 in December, and have already gotten off to a good start on working towards them.

I decided to set goals that are challenging but achievable, something that will make me feel good about myself after I complete them. What I have here are some good goals, and I think I can accomplish them.

How I will accomplish them: It's all good and well to write out your goals, but you have to do something to keep your focus on them, keep you motivated, and ensure that you are on track the whole year long. How will I do that? Weekly goal meetings with my wife.

My wife and I have decided to be "goal buddies" this year, and to that end, we are meeting once a week to set our goals and review what we've done. For example, at the beginning of January, we took our goals for the year and decided what we would try to accomplish in January for each goal. We tried to make it something easily accomplishable in one month. Then, each week in January, we set weekly goals that help us toward the monthly goals. Each day, we look at our weekly goals and see what we can do that day.

So all year long, we have a mechanism to track our progress, review our accomplishments and failures, and set mini goals that help us toward the year's overall goals. It's working great so far and I hope to report good progress as the year goes on. It keeps us motivated and it's so much better than just writing down some resolutions and forgetting about them after a few weeks.

So without further ado, here are my goals for the year:

Top Goals for 2007

* Triathlon: Train at least 2x a week each for bike, swim, run, and complete an Olympic triathlon by July 2007. Write a column once every two weeks about the experience.

* Strength training: Train 3x a week, gaining slight mass and definition (while losing fat through triathlon training). Take a picture in December, then every 3-4 months.

* Yard work: Get it back in shape in December 2006, then cut once a week for 1-2 hours to keep in shape. Should have a nicely maintained yard.

* Payoff credit card, car: Set payment plan, make regular payments. Celebrate when done!

* Save: Set aside $___ emergency fund (open online account for this, then transfer money), then $___ per pay period for Liberty Fund (and track different categories within Liberty Fund).

* Meditate: At least twice a week, meditate for 20-30 minutes.

* Positive Parenting: Become a calmer, more positive parent. Stop yelling and spanking. Teach them with love. Will practice daily, with wife to help me.

* Simplify: Reduce my needs. Reduce clutter. Reduce complications in life. Simplify workday. Simplify the house. Create times of peace (meditation, running, reading, quiet times with wife, kids).

* Take Action: Do things to help raise awareness and improve global warming, poverty and Guam's political status.

2006 Year in Review - A great year!

I took a bit of a Christmas vacation from this blog, and missed trend of year-end reviews, New Years resolutions, and 2007 goals that were posted on so many other blogs, but I'm going to catch up and post them now. This post will cover my 2006 review, and the next post will be my 2007 Goals.

2006 Year in Review

Last year was an awesome year for me! I accomplished two of my life goals, had a baby, and simply transformed my life in so many ways. Let me count them briefly:

* Marathon: Starting in early 2006, I wrote a column every two weeks that ran in the local newspaper here on Guam, chronicling my journey to my first marathon. I just started running in early December 2005, and did my first 5K later that month, so this was a very big goal for me. It was also a lifetime goal. I had a very up-and-down year in my marathon training, but to sum up a long story, in early December 2006 I completed my first marathon! Running is now a part of my life, and I love it.

*Novel: It's always been a goal of mine to write a novel, and in November 2006 I signed up for the life-changing NaNoWriMo, with the goal of writing 50,000 words in a novel by the end of Nov. 30 ... and I did it! It will probably never be published, but it was quite a challenge and accomplishment.

* Noelle Cayce: On March 23, 2006, the latest joy of my life was born ... our youngest daughter. That makes six for us. She is a godsend and a brat, all in one incredibly beautiful package.

* Veganism: In September 2006 I became a vegetarian, with the eventual goal to become a vegan. Well, I haven't touched meat (or any animal carcasses) since, and I have drastically reduced my intake of dairy and eggs ... basically, I don't eat dairy or eggs anymore but only take them in as trace ingredients in some foods. I plan to cut them out completely so I can have a cruelty-free diet by the end of 2007. It's been a great transformation of my diet, and one that I do not regret a bit. One of the best things I've ever done.

* GTD: Even though I didn't actually read David Allen's Getting Things Done until the end of 2006, I grasped the basic concepts and procedures on the web and began implementing GTD before the summer. By the end of the year, I was much, much more organized than ever before. It's an incredible system that I would recommend to anyone. It can take awhile to adopt the habits of GTD -- I have most of them down by now but am still improving. My desk is clear, my files are organized, my email inbox is empty and I know where everything is. Perfection!

* Early riser: In 2006, because of running, I became an early riser. I started waking earlier and earlier, and now regularly wake up at 4:30 a.m. (some days at 5 a.m. if I sleep late). It gives me such a great start on the day, and the mornings are quiet and beautiful. I love it! Over the next couple of weeks I'm going to try to accomplish at least 1-2 Big Tasks before 6 a.m. ... with the option of tackling instead 2 things I've been procrastinating on. I think it will make my days even better.

* Finances: I made great progress in eliminating my debt (with even bigger plans for 2007) and began an emergency fund that is so great for ease of mind. I am still trying to get on stable financial ground, but compared to a year ago, when I couldn't make ends meet, I am light years ahead. And I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

* One Year Quitversary: On Nov. 18, 2005, I quit smoking. It was the beginning of the transformations in my life, and gave me the confidence and showed me the way to even more accomplishments. On Nov. 18, 2006, I quietly celebrated my one year Quitversary, and have never been happier.

* Misc: There have been many other great things that have happened to me in 2006, and small failures as well, but on the whole this has been a GREAT YEAR!!!!!! Here's hoping that 2007 will be just as great.

Volunteering

It's the Christmas season, and I wanted to get my kids into the real spirit of Christmas, so we've been looking for opportunities to volunteer or donate to good causes this month. We've been enjoying it so much that we want to continue it year round. It's a great feeling to do something good.

We've participated in the Angel Tree program, each of our children buying gifts for a child whose parents are in prison. That was a lot of fun. We also donated used toys in good condition that the kids don't play with anymore to the Salvation Army thrift store. We're looking into how to help serve food at the homeless soup kitchen here on Guam.

This week, we decided to volunteer for Salvation Army bell-ringing duties. The wife took three of the kids on Monday, and I was scheduled to take two yesterday. However, I got stuck at work, couldn't pick the kids up on time, and ended up doing it all by my lonesome.

After ringing the bell and whistling Christmas carols (I forgot the words) for two hours, here are my tips for anyone who does this:

1. Bring water and snacks. Two hours is a longer time than you think, and you definitely get thirsty and I got pretty hungry (it was around dinner time).

2. Don't do it alone. Two hours of ringing a bell and whistling without a break is very tiring. If you have your kids, at least, there's a little bit of a rest, and if you have another adult, you can kind of give each other breaks.

3. Bring a folding chair. This goes with No. 2 ... if there are more than one of you, one person can take a break while the others are ringing the bells and singing.

4. Print out Christmas carol lyrics. I can't remember all the words to any carols. Not even Jingle Bells. So print them out and sing them with your kids. It's very festive.

5. Bring Santa hats. It's fun and merry and full of Christmas spirit. Also have jingle bells. Get into the spirit of it!

6. Don't pressure anyone. I always feel guilt if I walk by bell ringers without donating at least some change. But as a bell ringer, I saw it from a different perspective. I didn't judge anyone, and tried not to stare at people as they walked by, so they wouldn't think I was judging them. I think people still feel guilty anyways, but I never wanted anyone to feel like they were obligated to donate. I still got plenty of donations anyways. People were very generous, and whatever they could give, I was very appreicative -- from $5 to 5 cents!

Whatever you do, volunteer for something. You will love it, and the organizations that you help will love you for it. Volunteers are a sorely needed commodity.

Keeping a stress-free, clean house

Yesterday I cleaned my house a little, tidying up, cleaning the bathroom a little, cleaning the kitchen, and generally making the place look nice.

It is simply beautiful. There is a tremendous pleasure I get in being able to relax in a clean house.

Of course, with six kids, it never lasts long, but there are things I can do to keep it generally clean and tidy.

Here are the habits I will try to maintain to keep a stress-free house:

1. Never leave dishes in the sink. Or counter. Clean up any messes in the kitchen after I'm done. Wipe the counters, keep the sink clean.

2. Tidy the bathroom as I go. After I use the bathroom, clean the sink, the toilet, spray down the shower, real quick. It only takes a couple of minutes, and the joy of a clean bathroom is unmatched.

3. Pick up as I go. There are little things the kids leave around the house. I'll just pick them up throughout the day, or keep a basket for their stuff and just dump them in there, for them to put away later.

4. Never leave clothes out. I have a tendency to hang my once-used but still clean clothes in my bedroom, leaving them out to clutter the place up. No more. They either go in the dirty clothes, or they get hung in the closet.

5. Take the trash out every day. It's cleaner, and even if the trash isn't quite full, this is a good habit.

6. Tidy up before I leave the house. It's wonderful to come home to a clean house. Just pick up a little before I leave.

7. Make my bed in the morning. I'll do this either before or after I shower. I love a made bed.

8. Tidy up before I go to bed. Waking up to a dirty house is stressful. Waking up to a clean house is an incredible way to start the day.

9. Don't let clutter pile up. There's a place in the kitchen where we pile books and papers. That needs to go. Piles are stressful. I will clear this counter daily, along with the inbox we have for all incoming papers.

10. Get rid of the papers on the fridge. I can pretty much put all of that info on our calendar. They leave a very cluttered appearance.

11. Teach the kids to put their stuff away. By far the greatest source of stress and messiness. This will also be the most difficult task, and I don't know if it can ever be accomplished. But it's worth a try.

How I save money

I think I'm a fairly frugal person. I haven't always been this way, and it's taken years of simplifying and cutting back on little things, one at a time. And while there are definitely many more things I can scrimp and save on, I'm proud of how far I've come already. Here's how I save money:

1) I cut my own hair. I bought a $20 buzzer, and it lasts about a year. I used to get a haircut every month, at a cost of $20 (including tip, not including gas money to get there and valuable time spent there). So I save the cost of about 11 haircuts a year. I do the same for my three sons, saving another 36 haircuts (at $10 each). Annual savings: $580.

2) No Cable TV. We watch DVDs, or read. I don't spend much on DVDs either (probably less than most people, per month). Cable costs about $65/month. Annual savings: $780.

3) Became vegan. I eat a lot of fresh fruits and veggies, which are expensive, sure, but you are supposed to eat those whether you're vegan, vegetarian or a carnivore, so I don't count those as extra expenses. The real comparison is between meat, and the protein substitutes I use. Most of my protein comes from tofu, although I do eat beans and soy protein such as fake ground beef or soy burgers. Overall I believe I save about $2-3 per day not eating meat. Annual savings: $900.

4) Don't use the gym. I used to be a member of a gym. Didn't use it much, and still got charged for a full year. Now I get a lot of exercise, but I do it at home and on the road. I do strength exercises in my living room and jog (and will soon start cycling and swimming). Annual savings: $420.

5) Rarely go to the movies. I used to go out to the movies at least once a week, and sometimes more. I slowly made it every other week, and now I don't even go once a month. Now we take the kids to the park or out to do something more fun and creative. I figger this saves me at least $15 per week, although it's probably more when you factor in the cost of my kids' tickets, and concessions. Annual savings: $780.

6) Quit smoking. I quit over a year ago. I smoked a pack a day, plus a soda or tea or coffee to go with the cigarettes, at a cost of about $5 per day. Annual savings: $1,825.

7) Don't drink much. I never did, really, except maybe in college. But for some people, drinking is a major expense. A beer or two a day can add up, and for the sake of these calculations, I'll count it. Annual savings: $800.

8) Never go out. I don't go to clubs, or the theater, or ballet, or opera. I guess I'm just not that type of person. Annual savings: maybe $500.

9) Stay healthy. As mentioned above, I'm a vegan, a runner, and I don't drink or smoke anymore. I never go to the doctor, and if I keep up this lifestyle, my likelihood of getting the most common diseases are greatly lowered. Annual savings: probably $1,200.

10) Don't go shopping. We used to hang out at the mall a lot. It was convenient, and had a lot of great stuff to look at, and a food court. The food court alone costs $30 for us, and if we bought stuff that would be another $25-75. Cha-ching. Now I rarely ever, ever, ever go to the mall. I hate it anyway. I only go to the mall or Kmart if I need something, and even then I try my best to avoid it. Annual savings: probably $2,600.

11) Have only one car. We are a married couple with six kids, soccer practice, choir, school functions, many many family gatherings, running events, martial arts, and much more. But we get by on one car. We are looking to get a used van with better fuel economy, and I am going to start commuting at least a few times a week by bike. Annual savings: unknown, but perhaps $5,000.

12) Bring my own lunch. My co-workers eat out every day, at a cost of $8-20 per lunch. I bring leftovers or a sandwich and fruits and pretzels and stuff. At a cost of probably less than $5. Annual savings: $1,800.

13) No magazine or newspaper subscriptions. I used to have the paper delivered. Now I read it online or at work. I used to subscribe to 1-2 magazines. Now I read the Internet. Annual savings: $360.

14) Rarely buy new clothes. I use my clothes and shoes until they are threadbare. Really. Ask my wife and kids. Annual savings: maybe $400.

15) Never travel. I would like to travel. When I am out of debt and my savings accounts are nice and healthy, I will travel. But for now, I skip it. Others I know take at least a trip per year. Annual savings: $1,500.

16) No more lattes. I used to get a latte every day. At a cost of about $4 per latte. Sometimes I'd get two. Now I make my own coffee. Annual savings: about $1,000.

There are more little ways that I've learned to save, like getting my books at a used book store, cooking most of my meals (aside from the above-mentioned lunches), power-saving measures, no long distance calls. There are also ways I can still save, including eating out less (we eat out 1-3 times per week, mostly fast food like pizza or Taco Bell or Wendy's, all of which I can do without).

Estimated total savings: $20,445.

Now, I'm not sure if most people spend the full amounts listed above, or if I ever did. But at some point, I did come close, and I think many people do as well. But however you look at it, I'm proud of how far I've come. Does this all go into savings? Of course not. Other expenses have gone up, because I now have six kids, and our income has temporarily gone down. Also, we're now putting money into debt, and once that is freed up, more will go into savings.

Similar posts elsewhere:

• Frugal for Life: 25 Ways I Save Money
• Neat Living: 25 Ways I Save Money
• The Good Human: 25 Ways to Save Money - the Small Things Add Up!
• Getting to Enough: 25 Ways I Save Money
• Frugal Baster: 25 Ways I Save Money
• The Finance Journey: 25 Ways I save Money
• A Path to Simplicity: 25 Different Ways to Save Money
  

See also:

• How to Stop Living from Paycheck to Paycheck
  
• A Guide to Living Frugal
• One Month Challenge - Tracking Our Expenses
• Baby Makes Eight: Raising Six Kids, Part 1 (Finance Edition)

Positive Parenting Day 1

OK, the first day of my 30-day positive parenting habit passed yesterday, and here's my report:

Day 1 Zero yellings or spankings: Successful (1/1 days)
Praise or talk gently to each child at least once: Fairly successful (1/1 days)
Show love and affection for each child at least once: Only partially successful (0/1 days)

I need to make it a point to praise and show affection to each of my children. As I have six of them, this can be a difficult thing to remember. My daughter, Chloe, suggested that I wear a rubber band around my wrist, as a reminder. This is a good idea, and I think I'll give it a try.

Research on the Web
I think one of my problems is that I genuinely do want to be more positive, but I'm sure exactly how to do it. I'm doing some research and here are some tips I've found so far:

From What is Positive Discipline (pdf):

• Mutual respect. Adults model firmness by respecting themselves and the needs of the situation, and kindness by respecting the needs of the child.
• Identifying the belief behind the behavior. Effective discipline recognizes the reasons kids do what they do and works to change those beliefs, rather than merely attempting to change behavior.
• Effective communication and problem solving skills.
• Discipline that teaches (and is neither permissive nor punitive).
• Focusing on solutions instead of punishment.
• Encouragement (instead of praise). Encouragement notices effort and improvement, not just success, and builds long-term self-esteem and empowerment.

Some of the better tips from Positive Discipline Guidelines:

• Celebrate each step in the direction of improvement rather than focusing on mistakes.
  
• A great way to help children feel encouraged is to spend special time “being with them.” Many teachers have noticed a dramatic change in a “problem child” after spending five minutes simply sharing what they both like to do for fun.
• When tucking children into bed, ask them to share with you their “saddest time” during the day and their “happiest time” during the day. Then you share with them. You will be surprised what you learn.
• Have family meetings or class meetings to solve problems with cooperation and mutual respect. This is the key to creating a loving, respectful atmosphere while helping children develop self-discipline, responsibility, cooperation, and problem-solving skills.
• Teach and model mutual respect. One way is to be kind and firm at the same time—kind to show respect for the child, and firm to show respect for yourself and “the needs of the situation.” This is difficult during conflict, so use the next guideline whenever you can.
• Proper timing will improve your effectiveness tenfold. It does not “work” to deal with a problem at the time of conflict—emotions get in the way. Teach children about cooling-off periods. You (or the children) can go to a separate room and do something to make yourself feel better—and then work on the problem with mutual respect.
• Use Positive Time Out. Let your children help you design a pleasant area (cushions, books, music, stuffed animals) that will help them feel better. Remember that children do better when they feel better. Then you can ask your children, when they are upset, “Do you think it would help you to take some positive time out?”
• Focus on solutions instead of consequences. Many parents and teachers try to disguise punishment by calling it a logical consequence. Get children involved in finding solutions that are (1) related (2) respectful (3) reasonable.
• Make sure the message of love and respect gets through. Start with “I care about you. I am concerned about this situation. Will you work with me on a solution?”

There are many more good articles out there on Positive Parenting, and I'll be posting some of my better finds as the month goes along.

See also:

• 100 Ways to Have Fun with Your Kids for Free or Cheap
  
• Family Day and Family Meetings
• Baby Makes Eight: Raising Six Kids, Part 1 (finances)
• Baby Makes Eight: Raising Six Kids, Part 2 (organizing and scheduling)

December's Habit: Positive Parenting

Every day this month, all month long, I will be trying to become a better parent. My habit for the month will be to become a more positive parent, using "positive parenting" techniques rather than negative, destructive ones that have been my habit in the past.

Background
I was raised to believe that yelling and spanking are the ways to discipline a child. That's the culture I come from, here on Guam, although in truth my mom was not much of a yeller or a spanker. She was a very positive parent, and in fact she's my role model this month.

As a father of six children, I have been very much into discipline, and I expect my kids to do what I say. I do yell, when I get angry, and I spank on occasion, although I never feel good about that. It has been my intention for quite some time to change these habits, as I do not think they are the best way to show my children I love them, or to develop them as human beings.

Goal
My goal for this month is to have zero (0) yellings or spankings each day in December, to praise or talk gently to each child at least once each day, and to show my love and affection for each child at least once per day. Regardless of their behavior.

If I fail, I won't beat myself up about it, but I will analyze what went wrong, and what obstacles stand in my way of success, and find ways around those obstacles and strategies to succeed.

Each day I will try to log my success/failure in each of the above measurements of my goal, and at the end of each week I will evaluate my progress so far.

Strategy
Using my experience from quitting smoking and running and waking early, I will use the following strategies:

1 Commitment: Posting this to my blog is putting this commitment in writing. I will also share this month's habit with family members, and with my children, making them a promise to achieve this goal this month.

2 Motivation: My motivation is simple -- my children, and their self-esteem, and their happiness. I will put pictures of them up in front of me to remind me of my motivation. Also, as a reward for a week of success, we will go out for a treat each weekend.

3 No Slipups: While I cannot be perfect, I will do my best not to have any slipups, preventing myself from receeding back into my old habits. I will focus on each interaction with my children, trying to be a more positive, loving father.

4 Support: I will look for support from my wife, my children and my mom.

5 Delay: If I feel myself getting angry, I will STOP, take a deep breath, count to 10, and go somewhere else where I can cool down and then speak to them calmly, and hopefully positively.

6 Replace Negative Habits with Positive Habits: I may not know that much about positive parenting, but I will read up on it. I have a book on it, and I will research some websites and post some of my favorite findings and tips. I will list the positive habits, as I learn about them, and try to implement them as part of my daily goal of being positive and loving towards each child.

7 THINK POSITIVE: I can do this, and I can be positive!

My 12 Habits

Last month, I started an ongoing thing that I call my 12 Habits: it's a way for me to focus on one habit at a time, rather than a bunch of them. It's also a way for me to focus on a habit for an entire month, rather than doing one for a week or two, and then moving on to my next interest.

So, if you look in the sidebar, you'll see the 12 habits I plan to tackle over the next year or so. They'll change, as I go along ... what I've put up there is a rough list, and I'm still thinking on it.

My first habit, in November, was writing daily. I cannot claim success with that habit, and I will be continuing to work on it in the coming months. I wrote daily for the first week, but was spotty in weeks 2 and 3, and then wrote phenomenally in the last week. I hope to be more consistent with this from now on, and more consistent with my other habits.

I will be doing a series on the 12 Habits ... one post for each of the habits over the next week or so, talking about what I want to achieve, how I will measure each goal, what strategies I'll use, maybe some links. Another note: the 12 Habits won't be limited to 12 ... after I do the 12th one, I'll move on to the next. I just call it that because I'll be working on 12 habits a year, one per month.

Fifty. Thousand. WORDS!!!!!! I did it!!!!!

I can't believe I did it. As I posted yesterday, I entered NaNoWriMo for the first time this year, and fell way behind. I was 19,000 words behind with three days left, 13,000 words behind with two days left, and at 3:30 a.m. this morning I woke up with 6,000 words to write before midnight. Well, I knew I could do it, so of course I procrastinated.

But about an hour ago, I was within sight of the finish line, and I sprinted triumphantly to the end! I made it! I went to the NaNo site, uploaded my novel, and was congratulated on winning! I got a cool winners certificate to download and print out, and a nice winner's icon to display on this site, which I will proudly leave in the left sidebar for as long as people will stand it.

Really, my novel isn't done. I reached the 50K word goal, which is exhilarating, but I probably have another 20K to go to the end. And then, I take this crappy first draft, which is what it really is, and I have to revise. And revise. Until I like it. And then I'll decide what to do with it -- I hope it'll be good enough to send to a publisher, but I can't tell yet. Ask me in a few months.

I hope to continue the habit of writing every morning, at least 500-1000 words a day, for the rest of my life. I will wake up tomorrow morning and write. I won't write on Sunday, because that's my first marathon!

Which brings me to the other point of this post: in the span of a few days, I will accomplish two of my life's major goals: to run a marathon, and to write a novel. I will probably have done both very crappily, but that's not the point, is it? I am awed by my accomplishments this week.

Now to carry it on to 2007.

Only a day left for NaNo!

This is my first year doing National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), which is a mad dash to writing a novel of at least 50,000 words. I started the month out great, doing about 2,000 words a day in the first week. Then, typically, I dragged in the second week, and barely wrote anything the third week, and then made sporadic attempts to catch up. Yesterday I wrote more than 5,000 words, which isn't bad, but today I need to write somewhere around 6,000 words, and tomorrow 7,000 words.

I only have a few hours left tonight before I get too sleepy to write, but I'm going to go on super mode and try to actually reach 7,000 words for the day. That'll leave 6,000 for me to write tomorrow. Yikes.

I'll check back tomorrow, after the madness is over, to report on whether I made it or not. And to reflect on the madness, and what I learned, and where I go from here.